I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve

 A truthful post

When you are ill it really put things into perspective you not only find out who will abandon you, but you find out who will pick you back up again.

 In my personal experience the people who I thought would stand by me have all but disappeared and we are no longer in contact unless something spectacular happens for example going on a short holiday but that’s enough time wasted on the people who no longer matter.

 I want to talk about the people who stick by you and fight in your corner no matter what. The people who will hold your hand and pull you through the rough patches these are the people that matter but it is these people we unintentionally hurt when you have a bad day or are frustrated and have to deal with the brute force of your anger because you feel lost because nothing is happening and you seem to be stuck in medical limbo.

I have been on both ends of this spectrum I have been the person who helps and the person who is ill and to be honest I would much rather be the person who creates the happiness not the person who takes out there frustration on the ones who stick by them but you don’t always get what you want.  

Human Nature or Social Networking's FAULT

Hey guys

So I am sorry I haven’t posted in a while but I have had migraine and earache (major ouchy).

I have been thinking and it seems I have lost my truth telling abilities on my blog. I mean if you look at Manners and When I was younger I just wrote the truth the only other ballsy thing I have done since then was the video and I am sorry for that but I will try get back to that style of blogging when the inspiration hits me.

So this may be too much information but I am ill but I won’t go into details because it is nothing serious. I have been off university since January due to only doing one assignment due to going into hospital and I will start again in September.

 I think it is amazing how many people now feel it is there right to know every detail of my life when I haven’t spoken to them in FIVE years and five years ago it wasn’t like we were close anyway. I don’t really post on facebook nowadays I just go on it to check my course page to be nosey and peak at what I will doing next year. The amount of facebook message I have from people who have seen me in town and want to know why I am not at university (if you don’t know it’s none of your business SIMPLE). If I was posting updates about it on facebook I could understand why people would private message me but I am not. I now understand when my pregnant mates post about how everyone wants something to do with them till the baby a couple of months old.

Have social networks caused this invasion of privacy that now everyone now feels that they have a right to know what is going on in your life or is it human nature at its worse.

What did you all think of my video?

No Longer a Chicken

Hey Guys

I finally did it. I made my video but it is a little tongue in cheek but raise a good point I have not made this video to bully or upset anyone on purpose. 

Technology

Hey Guys

So here’s a thought

How far away are you from a mobile phone?

How about a game console?  

I know irony is going to bite in the butt all through this post but oh well. I know that I am using technology to send this post but I think whenever you do a post about technology and society irony kicks in.

So I found this picture the other day online (I know the Irony) but I think Albert Einstein has a point I know that I am guilty on relying on technology for example my essay timetable for university was on my tablet with weekly reminders. However I try and cut down on using my mobile when I am around my family because firstly it’s RUDE and secondly why waste time on something that is replaceable while something irreplaceable is right in front of you. It makes me laugh when you walk past fast food places and see a group of people sat round a table that are clearly all together and their all on the phone either Tweeting, Facebooking or texting ERM hello your with a group of friends how about you talk to each other and put the phone DOWN.  I also find it rude and annoying when someone is being served by someone at the till while on the phone and commenting on the service or completely ignoring the fact that they are being served and just being plain RUDE there is no need for it. A mobile phone or Ipad or any other devise is replaceable (I know at a cost) but family and friends aren't. 

Take a look at these TRUE headlines

Mother Kills Baby after Interrupting FarmVille Session

22-year-old potentially faces life in prison after shaking her baby to death.

By Kris Pigna, 10/30/2010

Girl starved to death while parents raised virtual child in online game

Korean couple became obsessed with raising virtual baby while their real infant daughter lay abandoned and unfed

By Mark Tran Friday 5 March 2010

Boy murders his mother over Halo 3

Read more: http://www.testcountry.org/top-10-extreme-video-game-addiction-cases.htm#ixzz2QgCvZDGW

 I know these are extreme but it proves Albert Einstein’s point.  

 I am not saying let’s all get rid of our technology it is more to the point of use it at appropriate times not when life is passing you by. 

The meaning of life is 42

Hey Guys

So today I thought that we could talk about life.

 I think too many people get hung up about something they lose themselves so to speak. I think our time on this plant is short and I don’t think we should spend time worrying about silly things. I know that we all have our responsibilities but we shouldn't get hung up on them to the point you forget to actual live. I am not saying that we should all go jump out of a plane I am saying that we should appreciate the people who are around you and that you love and even if it just meeting over a lunch break. There will come a time when the person you wanted to spend time with will no longer be around and all you will have is regret. 

I always have a quotation for everything - it saves original thinking - Dorothy L. Sayers

Hey guys

So I just thought I would inform you all that I have had a mental block writing my book I think it is down to the fact I have decided to watch my Tudor box set.  So back to blogging I thought today I would share with you some quotes that I find inspirational.

Though she be but little, she is fierce!

– William Shakespeare

All the worlds a stage,

and all the men and women merely players:

they have their exits and their entrances;

and one man in his time has many parts,

- William Shakespeare

Any idiot can face a crisis - it's day to day living that wears you out.

 – Anton Chekhov

Don’t go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

– Mark Twain

Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.

 – John Lennon

To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.

 – Oscar Wilde

Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, while others will leave a stain. Do not be that stain.

 - Unknown

Give a girl the right shoes, and she can conquer the world.

 - Marilyn Monroe

Here are just some quotes that I have found over the years and have around my room I do not want to get all preachy but I think sometimes a quote can help you through times or help improve your mood.

If anyone’s has any quotes they find inspiration please feel free to share 

MY HERO

Hey guys

I would like to introduce you all to my Hero. She may not be superman but she is stronger.

This is my Grandma she has been the biggest inspiration in my life this lady had cancer THREE times and beat it she also had THREE heart attacks but yet she still saw the world for all its joys and happiness. I was lucky enough when I was younger to spend as much time as I did with my Grandma because my Dad was in the army which meant that we moved around a lot and so I wouldn’t be in the way I would go on a little holiday to My Grandma’s in Sutton. In 1997 my Grandpa died and it was also the year that my Aunty (my Grandma’s daughter) got married, my Grandma being the person that she was did her grieving and put on a brave face for the wedding, even though she only smiled for a couple of photos she was there being brave.

 In 2003 I moved to Boston Lincolnshire and my Grandma moved in with us which was the best thing that had happened in my life to but I was foolish enough not to realise it at the time.  During the years that followed my Grandma and I use to play tricks on each other and my Mum whenever the house used to go unusually quiet my Mum would get paranoid and try see what we would be up to which usually would be mischief. I remember she always use to have the right words to say whenever I needed to hear them when I was being bullied she really was my rock along with my Mum.

In 2007 my Grandma got cancer for the third time it was a hard blow for us all but we soon got to work on kicking cancers butt this time her treatment was more severe than the times before and the chemotherapy started to make her weak it after a couple of small does in hospital it was realised that the chemotherapy was killing her but as soon as they found out it was stopped but luckily the cancer had been beaten and she was put in remission.

Through the years we had our fair share of fights with each other because we were just so similar in so many ways and both as stubborn as an ox (Her words). I remember one day I was in her room living room with her and I was a little upset and she just turned to me and said ‘Lauren be as free as a butterfly don’t let anyone cage you and don’t be afraid to fly’ the words have stuck with me since. We had this on-going joke for year where she used to call me a ‘horrible child’ and I would call her a ‘horrible Grandma’ but there was never any truth or hurtful meaning behind it.

 When I was younger I wasn’t able to say Grandma so I called her my Marmar and it stuck till December 1^st 2011 at 3.45pm this was the day that my Marmar was taken away from me. The day before she died she said her last words to me and they were ‘I love you god bless my horrible child’

Not all heroes wear costumes and masks and not all heroes need super powers but her strength and determination has made me the strong independent young woman I am today and I would not change anything that happened in them 10 amazing years because I knew she loved me and supported me not matter what and even though I said I didn’t want to be there when you passed I was glad I was because I got to tell you how much you meant to me.     

If Roses grow in heaven

Lord pick a bunch for me

Place them in my Marmars arms

and tell her there from me

Tell her I love her and miss her

and when she turns to smile

Place a kiss upon her cheek

and hold her for a while

Because remembering her is easy

I'll do it every day

But there’s and ache within my heart

That will never go away.

Rest in Peace

Hey Guys

Today's blog is serious and I would like to share with you something that has recently happened in my life. 

I think I have lost my spark for blogging and I would like to share with you why I think it had disappeared. A week ago a close friend of mine committed suicide. I am part of an on-line gaming community and have been for the past eight or so years but I met Fred around three years ago he lived in Canada and was a great member of the group. Even though I never had the chance to meet him face to face I spoke to him almost every day and we bantered and abused each other in a funny way. Fred was due to come over in the summer and we planned a whole week of joking around and him teaching me how to cook American/Canadian food. Last weekend I went to Manchester to watch Rocky Horror on stage I came back home on the Sunday I was home for four hours before we got told the news and everything seemed to stop for a split second next thing I knew tears were rolling down my cheeks.  The minutes that followed after the news team speak was silent everyone in the squad was in a state of shock. Even though we had never met and were miles apart we had helped each other through tough times again and again. Yesterday you were cremated at 6pm our time and again team speak had never been so quiet and on our Facebook page we created a video of all our favourite memories of Fred. I find it amazing how someone you have never met can have so much impact in your life. No matter how many times you have dealt with death each individual death will affect you in a different way. 

Rest In Peace Fred

The tears and sadness we now feel are a small price to pay for having you in our lives but you will continue to live on in our memories and you will never be forgotten Rest In Peace Fred

CHICKEN

Hey guys

Okay I have still not done the YouTube video I keep talking about I think it’s safe to say for the time been I have chickened out and will not post one. I think this is due to the fact that I cannot think of an idea to go with do I want to vlog, try nail art tutorials or horror make-up  I think I just need to pick one and go down that route but horror make-up seems the way to go because it’s an area I've focused on before. So here a picture of the horror make-up I played around with today.

Believe it or not this only took me 10 minutes to do but with drying time would take about half an hour. I did use a different foundation to my actual skin colour so it would be more viable. I also ran out of fake blood and gelatine which would have made it better looking and added to the effect of muscle underneath.  

a little bit of everything

Hey Guys

So instead of trying to make a YouTube video yesterday I ended up going doctors and being told I have an ear infection and on top of everything going on right now it was just the icing on the cake. Since November 2012 I have been taking five different tablets and now I am taking antibiotics. NO I am not looking for sympathy I just thought I would share a little of my life with you. So tomorrow I am going to attempt to make a video of a makeup tutorial for a female Dr Jekyll and Hyde I tried it today and here’s a picture for you all please have in mind this was just a quick run through and I will post a proper picture tomorrow.

so here's with red contacts

and here's without 

I have also been a busy writing a book I don’t know if it will ever get published one day but it’s a fun thing to do which I may end up posting about in the near future. 

Plan of action

Hey Guys

Tomorrow I am going to attempt to make a youtube video if it completely fails I think it will make a interesting post on here. I am past the point of letting people judge me if i even just make one person smile making a fool out of myself then i dont mind.  I am not sure if it will be a Makeup tutorial or a Vlog.

Lauren x
PS here's a duck face for you all

funny out look

Hey Guys

Today’s blog is a light hearted look on what girls go through to impress others.

1.       Waxing - it bloody hurts

2.       Trying to get the perfect hair

 

3.       Shaving - if you’re a wimp or not stupid enough to try

4.       Beauty treatments - anyone seen pics of a vampire facial

5.       Underwear shopping - its stressful when nothing fits right

6.       Fashion – no I don’t want to wear this

7.       Make-up - when is it too much 

8.       Fake tan – I want to be a bronze as this

9.       Technology

10.   We get friend zoned too

ROCKY HORROR

Hey Guys
Sorry I didn’t blog over the weekend I went to see Rocky Horror in Manchester which was amazing not only was the show one of the best I have seen the fans were so welcoming and friendly. I also think that it was could how the cast recognised people Oliver Thornton ho is playing Frank’N’Furter knew hardcore fans name and while a group of us were talking to Roxanne Pallett she remember two people who she had seen in Birmingham. So today's post is going to be a picture post. Oh and I have also just been informed by a friend that my picture was up on the daily mail site with Roxanne Pallett.

 

Rhydian - Rocky

Kristian Lavercombe - Riff Raff

Joel Mintague - Eddie and Dr Scott

Ceris Hine - Columbia

Oliver Thornton - Frank'N'Futer

I told Oliver that he was my first Frankie and he replied 'I popped your Rocky Horror cherry how did it feel?' all I managed to say was AMAZING!!!

Roxanne Pallett - Janet 

Roxanne was so sweet and I didnt realise that we stood and spoke to each other for half an hour outside the theatre.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2302132/Roxanne-Pallett-wears-polka-dots-carries-flowers-final-Manchester-performance-The-Rocky-Horror-Picture-Show.html

Bullies

Hey Guys

Today’s blog was going to be a fun light hearted one after the last two which are just my opinion on the said issue, but then I saw a post from a friend that was about how he had to delete his YouTube channel due to being trolled which believe it or not is a form of bulling and can cause people as much harm and physical bullying or verbal bullying. I have been on the blunt end of many types of bullying such as Cyber, Physical and Verbal just to name a few. I am not writing this to get some sort of pity party going or to get sympathy because without it I don’t think I would be as confident with myself as I now. I was lucky enough that even though I had been bullied for over six years I had the great strength of my family and my Grandma behind me. I was a fortunate.

I used to get bullied because of the way that I looked, in the bullies’ opinion I had a big forehead and used to get called names like ‘five head’, ‘alien’ and ‘boom head’ (they could have been more creative in my opinion). This first started in year three I went to a private school in Surrey which was from year three up to sixth form whenever I used to cross paths with some of the older boys they used to call me ‘five head’ at the time I didn’t know what was going on so I shrugged it off and thought nothing of it. At the end of year five my parents moved up north to Boston where I went to a Primary school for a year while there I got the odd comment like ‘Alien’ or ‘Five head’ which again I shrugged off. Then I went to secondary school in Boston where  the bullying became worse every day walking around from year seven to eleven I would get ‘forehead’, ‘boom head’ and ‘five head’ shouted at me on a daily biases.

I will admit at the beginning of year nine it made me feel so ugly and so annoyed that I was different from everybody else because I looked slightly different. I remember one day a group of girls had me cornered and they said ‘why don’t you get a fringe it will make you look better and it will stop us doing this’. The next time I went to the hair dressers I got a side fringe put in the day before non-uniform day so the next day I managed to find confidence somewhere deep inside me and I wore I skinny jeans and a comfy top.  The next day I walked into my form room again to the points and giggles this time when I sat down I got asked if I had an eating disorder and because I was caught off guard by the accusation I didn’t reply which they took as a yes which meant that I was no longer just being bullied because of my forehead but because I was skinny.

                I remember one day in year eleven I was sat talking to a friend about being bullied and I realised that I had been called the same names over and over again most of my academic life and I laughed at the fact that they couldn’t think of anything new to say. I remember this day very clearly I was walking down the main corridor and someone turned and said ‘forehead’ that was going in the opposite direction out of nowhere I stepped across the corridor till I was stood in front of them and said ‘I’ve heard that one before not very original’ and walked off his face was a picture.  I used the same tactic all the way up until prom where I was waiting for the comments about my weight to kick off and it did one girl said ‘she must be anorexic’ and I turned round and said ‘I’m not, I’m just more active and not a fat as you’ I know it was kind of a low blow but after the abuse she had given me over the years it was just a little ripple on the pond.

Now back to the present day I am happy with the way that I look and I still get the odd comment and still turn round and say ‘can you honestly not think of one I haven’t heard before’ which I know is not the proper way to deal with the situation but what is, after all the years I have endured being bullied I think I’m allowed to stick up for myself now.  I really don’t care if this opens up a can of worms to trolls I say bring it on because I am stronger than any type of abuse you can throw at me because I have been dealing with it my whole life and now it just makes me laugh

To all you bullies out there you think that your comments make us feel so useless and unwanted but sooner or later the person you bullied will surprise you and will stop caring about what you say and may end up finding the funny side like I did. Like I said before, this post wasn’t about getting attention or me wallowing in self-pity I wanted share my story about being bullied and to show that not all people who get bullied don’t have choice and that they have to deal with all their life because that’s not fair. Imagine that you have a child and that its them being bullied you will see the whole situation from another point of view, the view of your victims. 

Hey Guys

Well for the next couple of weeks or so I guess I am going to be trying to find a format that works for me and play around with different ideas. currently I would like to blog everyday but I think that will only work for a couple of days a week at most then I will start blogging crap which is not what I want to do if people are going to look at my blog I should have the decency to post something worth reading. I was thinking of maybe once a week trying a vlog which may be fun or it may turn out rubbish, so I will have to play around with that.  I was also thinking about doing book reviews but I am worried I may ruin the book and people won’t want to read it so my though with that is I will try it and ask you guys what you think of it (I will probably do a book that most people have read like Harry Potter or the Hungry Caterpillar).  

Let me know what you think of my possible ideas for my blog 

Manners

So picture this guy’s your walking through town you enter a shop and as you open the door to enter you see an elderly person coming for the opposite direction so you hold the door open for them you don’t get a simple thank you or even an acknowledgment by the elderly person. Now imagine if it was the opposite way round that an elderly person held the door open for you and you didn’t say thank you or acknowledge them they would go into a huge speech about how the youth of today has no respect for the elderly and we just think they are a “nuisance on society”.  

The other day I was in my local supermarket and I had stopped to look at the magazines deep in thought I didn’t realise that a mobility scooter was coming till it had run in to the side of leg I turned round immediately and said I was sorry and apologised then the said person in the scooter went on to rant at me how I have no respect for my elders and that I was a rude insolent little child and new nothing of the hardship that they had faced growing up. I am old enough to know sorry does bring back the dead (Dad quote there) but I wouldn’t have minded if I had accidently walked into the scooter not the fact that it had run into me when I was clearly not moving I had been stood there for at least five minutes. It’s the same when I go into town the amount of times I have seen children almost being hit by mobility scooters are a little worrying just because you’re in a machine thing that can go up to fifteen miles an hour doesn’t mean you have right of way they also come equipped with a horn type thing it’s there for a reason.  

I also find it worrying that some elderly people feel they have the right to (struggling for a polite enough word) be rude and a little arrogant the odd side comments that you over hear walking past such as ‘she fat’, ‘they must have been dragged up not brought up’ and ‘when I was there age I was working not messing around’ I understand that they have a right to comment I have no right to take away anyone’s free speech but some comments are just too harsh and can really upset people even if there not directed at them. If we was to do the same thing we would be called rude arrogant so and so and told that we have no respect or understand the sacrifices they made so we could live the way we do now in this country. 

It also annoys me how all the elderly seem to stereotype all the younger generation because of the people who take it upon themselves to “speak” for our generation like some people thought they would do with the London riots. I was walking through town in my Pineapple dance hoodie as it was chilly and because it had started to rain I put my hood up the amount of looks I got because I was walking through town with my hood up was ridiculous some elderly people even went as far as gave me a wide birth.  

I do respect the elderly and the point of this post is not to slag them off it is far from that I just thought I would bring to light some observations I had made over the past couple of years and I do understand that the world has changed but I think that more needs to be done to help break down the barriers between the elderly and the young and the references I have made in this maybe just  one off incident or more than a one off in some occasions but these are my personal experiences.  

When i was younger

I do not think that I am the only person to notice this is the current society we live in that so much has changed since I was younger.

 I mean when I was younger I was excited to get a kinder egg and wonder what toy would be inside and I would be happy with that and I remember when a tamagotchi was the best thing in the world apart from when it went off at 3 in the morning to be fed, other than that it was amazing. All i have to do is scroll down my face book to see how much has changed like the amount of selfies or whatever the correct term is of people younger than 18 with iPad's, iPhone's or other devices reflected in the mirror along with the infamous duck face or worse the underwear shot. Nobody wants to see it!. Then is seems like time has gone full circle I mean in the 19^th century many girls would be married and have children by the age of twenty or they would be considered old or ugly for not being courted but time passed and girls started getting an education and focused on careers and built a stable home before having children now back the present day girls are back to having babies before twenty I looked at my year eight class photo and out of the 10 girls over half have now got a baby or one on the way. I do not have a problem with young mothers it is just an observation I have made. I have also noticed the change in young girl’s clothing last time I went into a fashion retailer and I saw a really nice dress that was reasonable length then realised it was a 10-11 year old dress that had been put back in the wrong place. I then took the opportunity to look at the girls section and saw that half the stuff there I wouldn’t wear because it would be to short or a little bit to preppy for me. My mother and I then went to another shop and I noticed the same thing again but this shop had the same white chiffon playsuits in sizes 5-6 years up to 16 years the thing with these playsuits was that the top buttons were pretty low down the chest also the playsuit was a little bit see through I know this because I tried on the 16 years one.

Please tell me I am not the only one who has noticed these changes. 

First post

Hello to whoever sees this 

This blog is going to be mainly a place to get my thoughts down I hope it will be a happy well balanced place not all sad and depressing thoughts. Well here’s a little about me I am 20 years old I am average looking, average height and have all round average personality well that’s a bit of lie being average is boring it means your like everybody else and a world where we are all the same would be BORING the worlds needs individuality (look at me sounding all Miss World like).